Five months from today, my world (and possibly the world at large--you never know) is going to be irrevocably changed. You see, Riley and I have decided to take the good book's counsel to "be fruitful and multiply" literally and have bought an orchard in central Washington state.

Just kidding. We're having a baby.

Yup, I've created my replacement. On or around May 3rd of next year, the miracle of birth and all its accompanying yuckyness will take place in the Smith house (or a hospital, preferably). There are few times in your life when you experience 27 different emotions at once, but hearing your wife say "Well, it's positive," from the bathroom at 6 a.m. is definitely one of them.

What kind of dad will I be, you ask? If my performance as an uncle is any indication at all, then I will be eminently awesome. At least that's what I keep telling myself, because seriously, what else can I do at this point?

I would say my feelings toward fatherhood fall under the auspices of "cautiously optimistic". I'm excited, but yikes! A completely helpless, amazing, writhing, beautiful, pungent, adorable, expensive, cuddly, lachrymose miniature human is going to come screaming (pun probably intended) into my life. And the little guy/gal will be totally dependent on me (and Riley a little, I suppose).

It's going to be a wild ride, but I think I can handle it. C'mon, parenthood: show me what you've got!