I love music. There's just no getting around it. Music occupies a ridiculous percentage of my computer's hard drive. I've tried to quit; I had a two year hiatus from most of my music that coincided with a 24 month period of ecclesiastical service in the great state of Washington.

It didn't stick. I was a member of BMG (as you were too at the time, remember?) and had CDs sent my missionary apartments. Before you go judging me, know that I did not listen to them, but merely reveled in their cover art for a second before sending them home in boxes to await my imminent return. There was no rule in my mission against desiring, purchasing, and drooling over music--just listening to it. Loopholes, people, loopholes!

I'm not entirely sure why I like music so much. I don't remember having a particulary musical childhood. There were of course the requisite piano lessons, with the age 12 escape clause that I took grateful advantage of. My sweet, dear grandparents presented us with an autoharp one Christmas, apparently with the hopes that it would be strummed alongside many a crackling fire in the years to come. Bless their hearts, it resides in its case under my parent's couch to this day unloved, untouched, and unsung.

I was, however, somehow a part of a singing group that toured such exotic places as Utah's Hogle Zoo. I honestly have no idea how I was ever coerced into wasting my youth in such a troupe of troubadours. I think my mom was friends with the director, which also probably explains how I was ever accepted into a singing group. I only remember two things from my time there: the other group members' unhealthy obsession with Ed Grimley (above), and the all lyrics to that diabolical western song we sang EVERY time we performed, "Ragtime Cowboy Joe". Don't ask me to write them, my fingers tremble over the keys just thinking about it.

I soon parted ways with the singing group, and discovered the virtues of the acoustic guitar, with its unexpected bonus of undeserved female attention. Soon after came my first Beatles album, and the rest, as they say, is history.

So, despite the vile machinations of Martin Short, I stand before you today a musical maven, every ready with a recommendation or snide remark about your favorite band/rapper/High School Musical star.