Lament #26

Paramount Pictures has passed on financing Anchorman 2, but just greenlit a movie based on The Magic 8 Ball toy. I'm in a glass case of emotion just thinking about it.

Much as I adore the written word, it does have its limitations. The tone and nuance of speech can make the same statement have VERY different meanings, and is something that can never be properly conveyed on the page or screen. Until now.

Enter the enterprising minds behind the SarcMark. These punctuation pioneers have created the solution to every snide writer's dilemma. Want to ensure that your readers (even the slow ones) grasp the gasp-worthy grandeur of your wit and snark? Simply toss a SarcMark at the end of the phrase and instant comprehension is your reward. $1.99 was never better spent.

As you can never have too many on hand, I've bought 4,000 of these so far. That ought to last the month, I think. Maybe I should make it 5,000...

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, you get a bit of (possibly sappy) verse. By "you", I mean Riley. Love you, B.G.


(Love) Can Be

Can be chilling, can be heat
Can be acrid, can be sweet

Can be mourning, can be dance
Can be timid, can be chance

Can be flowing, can be trickle
Can be faithful, can be fickle

Can be when, can be where
Can be touch, can be stare

Can be spoken, can be hushed
Can be stagnant, can be rushed

Can be able, can be lame
Can be hubris, can be shame

Can be tumult, can be stable
Can be gospel, can be fable

Can be brilliant, can be dim
Can be her, can be him

Can be lucid, can be pall
Can be never, can be all

I promise this isn't turning into a television blog, though you'd never know it by the last few posts. I honestly don't even watch very much T.V. Those shows I do watch, however, seem to be getting quite a bit of news of late. Which brings us to the latest dearly departed show that I loved: Conan O'Brien's.

I'm not going to rehash all the NBC/Leno drama, which I'm sure everyone is as sick to death of as I am. The bottom line is that television has (at least temporarily) lost one of its greatest talents. Conan is one of the funniest and most brilliant people on the planet, and it's a shame he was never given the chance to really find his groove on The Tonight Show.

Not just a funny man, but a class act as well, Conan took some time on tonight's show (his last) to say a few words to his fans. Here's what the pasty Irishman decided was the best thing to leave his viewers with before jamming to "Freebird" with Will Ferrell:

"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. . . Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

Not a bad thought, Coco. Not bad at all.


p.s.

As a bonus to tonight's post, and to ease the sting a bit, you get an amazing clip from Conan's late night show. Enjoy.

How awesome is Lost, which will come to an end this year after six twisty, brilliant seasons? Lost is so awesome that the president is scheduling his State of the Union speech around the final season's premiere. That, friends, is how awesome this show is.

A moment of silence, please.

Thank you. The two New Zealanders behind one of the quirkiest, cleverest and funniest shows in television history have pulled the plug on their creation. Bret and Jemaine, who play Bret and Jemaine (respectively) on their show announced today that there will not be a third season of Flight of the Conchords.

Fellow FOTC fans will understand my sadness and share my grief. For the rest of you, this clip is but the minutest sample of the low-fi goodness that was Flight of the Conchords. Lament with me, brothers and sisters--our great series is dead.