Lament #94

IHOP Chicken and Waffles. I tried to imagine the hierarchy of lavishly compensated executives who had to buy off on this at multiple levels and I got too depressed.

Witness:

Lament #241

One part of my job is to direct photo shoots for my company's catalogs, magazines, etc. During a location shoot at a lush public garden, my crew and I set up a table with some expensive facial creams on a decorative tablecloth. We then moved 30-40 feet away to take a different shot, intending to shoot the creams next.

Three fifty-ish women were strolling through the garden, saw our little table, and walked right up to it. Despite the fact that a camera crew was within shouting distance and very obviously taking pictures of products, these women proceeded to open the creams, smear them on their faces and then WIPE THEIR GREASY HANDS ON THE TABLECLOTH. They then walked away, certainly smelling a bit more fragrant for their efforts, but taking yet another piece of my ever-shrinking faith in mankind with them.

Riley took this great pic of my little buddy getting his giggle on. It seemed somehow familiar to me, so I did a bit of searching on the internet to see if I could figure out where I had seen something like this before. Turns out I had:

Sawyer William Smith is here. He was born on May 3, weighed 6 1/2 pounds and was 18 inches long. In my informed and completely unbiased opinion, he's one of the cutest babies...ever. I will permit no disputations.

For your consideration:

About to head to the hospital.

How did this happen to me? Where did those 9 months go? How much underwear should I pack? What if the kid's not cute? Will he need braces? I hope he goes to junior prom. There's no way he's living with me after thirty. Make that twenty. Maybe his first word will be "awesome". Please let him be cute. Other assorted pre-parental panicked thoughts...

Lament #26

Paramount Pictures has passed on financing Anchorman 2, but just greenlit a movie based on The Magic 8 Ball toy. I'm in a glass case of emotion just thinking about it.